The Work Is Me: Why I Stopped Separating Who I Am from What I Do

I’ve worked hard to get to this point.

I don’t just mean the surface-level kind of hard work—checking boxes, building credentials, or showing up consistently (though I’ve done all of that, too). I mean the deep, un-glamorous, internal work. The kind where you sit with discomfort, ask yourself the hard questions, and peel back the layers to figure out not just what you do, but why you do it.

For a long time, one question kept coming up for me: "What actually makes my work different?"

It sounds simple, but it gnawed at me. I’ve met and admired so many incredible people who do similar work—coaches, consultants, speakers, facilitators, healthcare leaders. People who are smart, heart-driven, experienced. And there were moments where I’d look around and quietly wonder: Do I bring something unique? Or am I just another name in a crowded field?

That question used to trigger a whole storm of self-doubt.

Until something shifted.

My Work Isn’t Just My Work

Here’s what I’ve come to understand:My work isn’t separate from me. It never has been.

There is no boundary between the person I am and the work I put out into the world. My work is an extension of my values. It’s rooted in my life experiences, my heartbreaks, my healing, my growth, my convictions, and the kind of world I want to help shape. It’s not just what I do—it’s how I live.

And that realization changed everything.

It’s why I care so deeply.

Why I can’t half-show up.

Why I feel it in my gut when something’s not aligned.

I used to think that was a flaw—that maybe I was too emotionally tied to the outcome, or that my high standards were just perfectionism. Perfectionism continues to show up. So does the tendency to people-please. I’ve learned that for me, those patterns aren’t about chasing external validation. They come from something more internal.

They come from wanting the work to feel like me. From wanting the people I support to see not just the polish, but the presence. The intention. The realness. The authenticity. I’m not interested in creating a brand that just looks good. I’m here to build something that is good, inside and out.

When You Are the Work, Boundaries Still Matter

Being deeply connected to your work doesn’t mean you don’t need boundaries.

I’ve had to learn this the hard way, through burnout and the slow realization that compassion doesn’t mean self-sacrifice. I used to feel guilty for saying no, or protecting my energy. I thought, “If this work is part of me, then shouldn’t I always be available? Shouldn’t I give everything I’ve got?”

The truth is, when the work is you, taking care of yourself becomes part of the work, too. Sustainable leadership isn’t about being endlessly accessible. It's about being honest with yourself and others about what you have to give. I’ve learned how to hold space without absorbing everything. I’ve learned how to care without carrying. I’ve learned that I can lead with heart and hold boundaries. I've learned that I can show up fully without giving all of myself away. I’ve learned that when I protect my energy, I protect the integrity of my work.

Integrity Over Image

For a long time, I knew that I needed the things I created whether it was a coaching session, a workshop, a podcast episode, or a conversation—to feel like me. I wanted people to walk away not just with insights or strategies, but with a sense that they were truly seen. That I meant what I said. That they could trust me. That’s not about optics it's about integrity.

I don’t create from a script. I create from lived experience. I don’t use cookie-cutter tools. I use evidence-based strategies that fit the person in front of me. I don’t aim to impress (well, most of the time). I aim to connect. Here’s what I’ve realized: the “thing” that makes the work different is me and the more I embrace that, the more powerful the work becomes.

For years, I tried to compartmentalize. I thought there had to be a version of me for work and a version of me for real life. That there was a professional tone I needed to stick to and that showing too much of who I really am would somehow dilute my credibility. That split left me feeling disconnected. Performative. Tired. I don’t want to live on a split screen anymore.

I’ve stopped trying to be one person in my work and another in my personal life. It’s all me. When I let myself bring my full self to the table with my heart, my instincts, and my humanity that’s when the work feels the most like me. That’s when it resonates. That’s when it has the capacity to transform people. A hard lesson: people don’t connect with perfection. They connect with truth.

The Power of Being Seen—and Seeing Yourself

This journey has taught me a lot about visibility not in the “marketing” sense, but in the soul sense.

For a long time, I wanted to be seen, but I was scared to really show who I was. I feared judgment. I feared being misunderstood. I feared that if people saw all of me and my edges, my softness, my flaws they might walk away. What I’ve found is the opposite. The more honest I am, the deeper the connections become. The more authentic I am, the more trust I build. The more I allow people to see me, the more they feel safe to show up as themselves. And that's the whole point.

We don’t need more perfectly curated professionals.We need more humans doing meaningful work, rooted in honesty, courage, and care.

So What Makes My Work Different?

It’s not the certifications and my resume or my website that I am continuously updating. It’s the fact that I stopped trying to separate who I am from what I do. I’ve made peace with the truth that my work is personal and that it reflects my values. It is imperfect and evolving just like me.

I’m proud of that because it means that when you work with me, you’re not getting a performance, you are getting presence.

If you’ve ever wondered what makes your work different, maybe the answer isn’t in the external. Maybe it’s in the parts of you you’ve been hiding. Maybe it’s in your story, your quirks, your scars, your values. Maybe the thing that makes your work powerful… is that it’s yours.

So here’s to bringing more of ourselves to what we create and to building what we do with heart and to lead with my own truth, that I'm imperfect that does not have all the answers, and a human who doesn't have it all figured out. Here's to creating from a place that reflects the whole of who we are.

If any part of this resonated, I’d love to hear from you.