“Leaders Lead the Way They Were Led” — Why Leadership Development Can’t Be Left to Chance

There’s a phrase I’ve been coming back to a lot lately: “Leaders lead the way they were led.”

It’s simple, but it reveals so much about how leadership cultures—both the good and the not-so-good, continue to cycle through organizations. We absorb what we see, and when it comes to leadership, most people are doing the best they can with what they’ve experienced. The problem? What they’ve experienced often isn’t enough.

I’ve found myself reminding individuals and employers more often these days that leadership is not intrinsic for everyone. And even for those who have a natural inclination toward it, it’s still a skill—one that requires practice, feedback, support, and time to grow.

We don’t expect people to instinctively know how to fly a plane, perform heart surgery, or argue a case in court. Yet somehow, when it comes to leadership, many organizations still hold the belief—explicitly or not—that people will “figure it out” once they’re promoted.

That belief is costing the well-being of organizations and their people.

We Promote People for What They’ve Done—Not for How They’ll Lead

Most organizations promote individuals into leadership roles because they’re strong at execution. They hit their targets. They deliver results. They manage projects well. So when it’s time to fill a management role, they’re a logical choice. What we often forget is that the ability to deliver on a set of tasks is not the same as the ability to lead others. In fact, they require completely different skill sets.

Leadership is about people, not just performance. And the skills that make someone excellent at individual contribution don’t automatically translate into people leadership—things like coaching, building trust, resolving conflict, creating psychological safety, and communicating with clarity and empathy. So what happens when someone steps into a leadership role without the proper preparation? They draw from what they know. From what they’ve seen. From how they were led.

If they had strong, supportive, emotionally intelligent leaders, great—they have a good foundation to build on. But many weren’t that lucky. They may have experienced micromanagement, a lack of psychological safety, poor communication, or leadership that prioritized output over well-being. Without support, they often replicate those same patterns—sometimes unconsciously.

Leadership Isn’t Something You “Just Know”

Leadership is a skill set. Like any skill, it can be taught, practiced, refined, and grown, but only if we’re intentional about it. Expecting new leaders to just know how to lead others is like promoting someone to a surgeon because they’ve watched a lot of medical dramas. It’s unfair to the person and risky for the people they’re leading. We forget that leadership requires emotional labor. It’s not just about decision-making and delegating. It’s about holding space for others, navigating team dynamics, managing stress, adapting your style, and knowing when to lead from the front versus when to lead from beside. When people haven’t been taught how to do that, or supported as they learn—they often default to what feels safest. That can look like taking a hands-off approach, avoiding difficult conversations, micromanaging under pressure, or trying to be “the boss” instead of the guide.

When we fail to invest in leadership development, we’re not just doing a disservice to new leaders—we’re impacting team culture, psychological safety, and long-term organizational health. We create confusion, disengagement, and, at times, a revolving door of talent that never gets to thrive under strong, capable leadership.

If You Want Better Leaders, Build Them

The good news is that leadership can be learned. And the most impactful organizations understand that creating great leaders is a strategic priority, not a nice-to-have.

That means:

• Offering leadership training before someone is promoted—not after. Preparing people for leadership before they step into the role gives them a foundation of tools and mindsets to lean on, instead of having to scramble.

• Coaching and mentoring new leaders through their first year. This helps them move through common challenges with confidence and learn from real-time experience—not just theory.

• Creating space for leaders to reflect, receive feedback, and grow. Learning doesn’t stop at promotion. In fact, that’s when the real work begins.

• Valuing emotional intelligence, relationship-building, and communication as much as technical expertise. Because leading a project and leading a person are two different things—and both are essential.

We need to normalize the idea that leadership is a developmental journey. That no one is expected to have it all figured out on day one. And that the investment in strong, supported leadership pays dividends across every level of an organization—from engagement and innovation to retention and culture.

We don’t need to leave leadership to chance. We can be intentional in how we shape the next generation of leaders—so they don’t simply lead the way they were led, but lead in ways that elevate, include, and inspire.

Rewriting the Pattern

Here’s what I want leaders, HR professionals, and executive teams to know:

1. If you’re promoting people into leadership roles without a plan for how you’ll support them, you’re not setting them, or your organization up for success.

2. If you believe that leadership is important, then you need to build the systems, expectations, and supports that reflect that belief.

3. Because leadership isn’t something people just figure out. It’s something we grow into—with guidance, with time, and with care.

4. When we help leaders step into roles with intention instead of assumption, we start to break the cycle of outdated leadership models. We empower people to lead with clarity, connection, and courage.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we open the door for people to lead not the way they were led, but the way they wish they had been.

That’s when everything starts to change.