Trusting the You That Hasn’t Been Born Yet: How to Face Future Problems With Confidence

Have you ever caught yourself in deep thought playing out imaginary worst-case scenarios that seem to randomly hijack your thoughts?

What if I lose my job?

What if my child/partner/parent/friend gets sick?

What if the economy crashes and I can’t support my family?

What if I say the wrong thing and hurt someone I care for?

What if…

We’ve all been there—caught in the web of hypothetical fears about problems that haven't even materialized. Our minds are remarkably creative when it comes to imagining the future, and unfortunately, they aren’t always supportive storytellers. Instead of offering a vision of resilience, success, and resourcefulness, our thoughts often spiral into dread and disaster.

Here's the truth: the version of you who will deal with those problems hasn't been born yet.

That future version of you will be shaped by everything you're living and learning right now. The tools you're acquiring, the relationships you're nurturing, the insights you're gaining, and the resilience you're quietly building today—these are the very foundations that future-you will stand on when life gets hard.

I heard this concept from a podcast I recently listened to, and it got me on a deep-dive of what this really meant to me and what measures I can implement to keep this thought close-at-hand when life feels overwhelming.

The Myth of Preparedness

Most of us grow up hearing messages like:

• “Be prepared.”

• “Plan ahead.”

• “Think three steps in advance.”

Preparation isn’t inherently bad. In fact, it’s smart to anticipate needs, save money, and have contingencies. But we cross a line when we start trying to solve problems that don’t exist yet—especially when we attempt to feel certainty or control over events that are, by nature, uncertain.

That’s when we start to spiral into anxiety. I'm someone who can get stuck in ideas of perfection and my spiral into worry and dread often starts here.

Preparation turns into worry.

Planning turns into paralysis.

Finally, attempts to re-gain control becomes a full-time job.

Why? Because you cannot know how you're going to deal with a future situation until you're actually in it. You are not that version of yourself yet.

Who Will Show Up? Your Evolving Self

Think about something that happened five years ago that completely blindsided you. A breakup. A layoff. A death. A diagnosis. A pandemic.

Now think about how you handled it.

Was it perfect? No.

Did you make mistakes? Probably.

And, you make it through? You’re reading this, so yes—you did.

The person you were five years ago could not have imagined how you'd navigate those circumstances. And yet you did. You became someone stronger, wiser, and more resilient in the process.

This is one of the most important life truths:

You grow into the person who can handle what life throws at you—when life throws it at you. Not before.

So the person who will face next year's unexpected challenge? They don't exist yet. They are being shaped by today. Every time you make a mistake and learn. Every time you practice self-awareness. Every time you recover from disappointment or celebrate a win. That person is being built in the background, even when you don’t realize it.

The Illusion of Control and the Power of Trust

Our brains hate uncertainty. We’re wired for safety and predictability, which is why we try to plan for every possible “what if.” In doing so, we create the illusion that if we worry enough, prepare enough, or think hard enough, we can control outcomes.

But control is not the goal. Trust is.

I want to be clear, I’m not talking about blind optimism or magical thinking. This isn’t about believing “everything will work out” without effort, or manifesting everything you want from life. It’s about trusting yourself, the version of you that you are today and the one you are steadily becoming.

It’s about knowing that:

• You won’t have all the answers, but you’ll ask (most of) the right questions when it matters.

• You may feel overwhelmed at first, but you’ll find your footing when the time comes.

• You’ll make decisions based on the wisdom and experience you’ve earned, not the fear you’re holding now.

And most importantly, you’ll act not from a place of panic, but from the solid foundation you are building today.

Building the Foundation

So how do you strengthen that foundation? How do you make sure that the future version of you has the tools, strength, and clarity to rise to the occasion?

Here are five ways that I am starting to lean into:

1. Focus on Core Values

When we try to prepare for every scenario, we often lose sight of what actually matters to us. Instead of scripting every response to an imaginary crisis, focus on who you want to be.

• What values do you want to lead with?

• Compassion? Courage? Integrity? Adaptability?

When you’re clear on your values, you don’t need a map for every potential road—you just need a compass. Values guide decisions under pressure, they act like your "north star or the non-negotiables.

2. Practice Emotional Agility

Emotional agility, the ability to navigate your inner world with awareness and skill.

Instead of trying to avoid difficult feelings about the future, acknowledge them.

• Feel the fear. Feel the uncertainty. Feel the vulnerability.

• Then shift from, “What if I can’t handle it?” to, “What will I learn if I do?”

This small shift allows you to stay grounded even when the future feels shaky.

3. Take Time for Self-Knowledge

Self-awareness is the most underrated tool for navigating hard times. The more you understand your triggers, strengths, patterns, and needs, the better equipped you’ll be when pressure hits.

Ask yourself:

• How do I typically respond to stress?

• What helps me reset when I’m overwhelmed?

• Who are the people I trust when I need perspective?

You don’t need to rehearse every future drama—you just need to know yourself well enough to improvise when the curtain rises.

4. Strengthen Relationships

The future version of you isn’t walking alone. Your support network will be critical. Cultivating deep, trusting relationships now is an investment in resilience later.

Make time for connection. Ask for help when you need it. Be the kind of friend or leader who shows up with presence and empathy.

When life inevitably knocks the wind out of you, you’ll want people around who know how to help you take a deep breath again.

5. Let Go of Perfection

Future-you doesn’t need to be flawless. They need to be real. The sooner you realize that isn't and have never been about getting it “right,” the sooner you can embrace the reality that you will figure it out as you go—just like you always have. Truthfully, this is very much a work in process for me and probably the one that I struggle with the most. My ego gets in the way a lot of the time and I haven't entirely figured out how to ask her to stop talking so loudly.

Life doesn’t require perfection. It requires participation, humility, and a willingness to adapt.

A Conversation With Your Future Self

Here’s a practice I sometimes recommend and use myself: Write a letter from your future self to the version of you who is worrying today.

Close your eyes and imagine a version of yourself five or ten years from now. They’ve gone through the things you’re afraid of. Maybe they’ve lost someone. Maybe they’ve changed careers. Maybe they’ve been heartbroken or blindsided or surprised in the best way possible.

And they continue to stand strong. Whole. Wiser. More courageous than you can imagine.

What would they say to you right now?

They probably wouldn’t say, “Worry harder.” They’d say:

“You’re doing better than you think.”“You don’t need to have it all figured out.”“I’ve got you. I’m proud of you for laying the groundwork.”

Let yourself believe that.

The Quiet Power of Trust

We cannot predict the future, and trying to control it only drains our energy in the present. When we lean into trust—deep trust in ourselves, in our growth, in our ability to meet life as it comes—something beautiful happens.

We soften.

We stop rehearsing disaster.

We stop trying to become invincible and instead become human—strong in our vulnerability, courageous in our uncertainty.

The version of you who will face the next challenge, solve the next problem, and hold space for the next heartbreak? They will be ready. Not because you prepared for every possibility, but because you lived today fully, honestly, and with intention.

So go ahead—exhale.

You don’t need to figure it all out now.

You just need to keep showing up, learning, and trusting that when the moment comes, the you who is meant to meet it will be there.

And they’ll know what to do.

Let me know—what would your future self say to you today?